


World's Greatest Complication

by torigates



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:43:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda to 4.02, "World's Greatest Burger"</p>
            </blockquote>





	World's Greatest Complication

Robin was so hungry she couldn’t even think straight. She heard Marshall saying something about putting pants on in the morning, but then she saw something out of the corner of her eye. A bag of chips! An unopened bag of chips!

Normally there wouldn’t be any circumstances under which Robin would think it was okay to eat chips (unopened or not) out of the garbage. But she hasn’t eaten anything in seven days (fine, two, whatever). She wasn’t thinking of anything but the pain in her stomach when she reached for the bag.

“Robin, no!”

Damn, Ted. “But they’re unopened,” she whined.

“Give it!”

“But they’re barbeque!” Ted grabbed the chips out of her hands. She kind of hated Ted.

Whatever, if Ted the spoilsport wouldn’t let her eat the garbage chips, there had to be something else around that she could snack on. She was so hungry she needed something. Robin contemplated eating one of the deposits envelops, but settled for just licking the glue off. It took her mind off the fact that everyone else had a third of two different burgers while she hasn’t had anything. She kind of hated everyone.

“That burger place isn’t gone. It just moved to a new location.”

Ted wanted everyone to chip in for the hundred bucks. Robin kind of hated Ted. But she was so hungry she gave him a twenty.

When they finally get to the burger place Robin was so far past being hungry, she just felt faint. They all waited for Marshall to take the first bite. She thanked God and anyone else out there listening when he proclaims it’s _the_ burger, and took a huge bite of her own meal.

She instantly forgave Ted. And everyone else. Because, _oh my god_ , if it isn’t the best damn burger she’s ever had.

“Oh my god,” she moaned. “I just want you inside of me.”

//

“Oh my god,” Robin moaned. “I just want you inside of me.”

Barney nearly choked on his (oh my god, so delicious) hamburger. Despite nearly choking on it (which frankly, would have been a huge waste), all thoughts of the hamburger left his mind and were replaced by Robin. Saying things.

He managed a lame joke about getting the hamburger pregnant, which luckily no one seemed to notice because they’re all too busy enjoying their own juicy slice of heaven.

After a second round (and a third for Robin – “What?” she asked, I haven’t eaten for _days_ ”) and Marshall made an exaggerated show of writing down the address, they headed out.

“That was really nice, what you did back there,” she told him.

He looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“Trying to get us all psyched about Marshall’s new job. That was really nice of you, Barney.”

“Please,” he said brushing her off. “It was no biggie. Besides, I need someone to help me with my pranks at work,” he paused, “Though we will have to do all our planning from Marshall’s office.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Please,” he told her.

She laughed, and it was a pretty laugh. Barney wanted to smack himself in the head, because he should _not_ be noticing Robin’s (beautiful, musical) laugh.

He chuckled nervously. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked him.

“What?” He squawked. “Nothing! Everything is awesome. What’s wrong with you?”

She gave him a weird look. “You’re weird.”

“Says the girl who tried to eat chips out of the garbage. That’s right, Scherbatsky, I saw that.”

She looked embarrassed for a second, and Barney couldn't help but notice how pretty she looked before driving that thought out of his head.

“Well if you guys hadn’t been such jerks, I wouldn’t have been forced into eating the garbage chips,” she shot back.

Barney did feel kind of bad about that, but it wasn’t like he was going to say so or anything. “Whatever, Scherbatsky. That kind of behaviour might be acceptable in Canada–” She punched him in the arm before he can finish.

“Shut up,” she said, and god, even the way she insulted him is wonderful. Barney mentally shook himself. This _had_ to stop.

Before he could say anything else, he saw Lily glaring at him.

//

“Whatever, Scherbatsky. That kind of behaviour might be acceptable in Canada–”

Lily had been half listening to Marshall talk about what kinds of things he would do the burger he just ate if it were human, when she overhead Barney and Robin talking.

And alright, to someone who didn’t know any better, the conversation probably sounded innocent. But Lily _did_ know better, and Barney had made his choice, and he had chosen bimbos. Lily did _not_ want to deal with this.

Still half listening to Marshall, she turned around and glared at Barney.

‘What?’ he mouthed at her.

She just continued to glare. After a moment Lily could see the comprehension in Barney’s eyes. He just shrugged.

‘Oh dear,’ she thought. She hoped Barney knew what he was getting himself into. Things were about to get very complicated.


End file.
